What #8

Jessica watched him at the window. He was lost in thought as the sun and snow created a disco ball effect of light on his face. She could see he was pensive though she couldn’t tell if he was happy, sad or indifferent.

“I know you’re there”, he said, smirk crossing his lips.

She smiled.

“And you are wondering how I am”, he continued.

“Yes, surprised Chris?”, she answered.

He smiled and shook his head.

It was the same routine every year at this time. The year-end rush always left him drained. There were always those moments of question. Moments of pain. The survival of it was always held up in the end results. But the road to get there was long and never without bruises.

Jessica crossed the room and hugged his arm against her body and laid her head on his shoulder. His head rested against hers. A communal sigh escaped them. She knew he felt the weight of his work. And she knew that the way the world was, made him question whether he should even bother.

“I’m too old for all this”.

“Since when”?

“I’m not so youn..”

“Oh shut up you old fool! You and your moods! Stop now before I have to smack you one!”, she said, punching his shoulder.

“Jessica!”, he cried in mock offense.

He kissed her hard. She wrapped her arms around him.

“You always like when I play rough”, she laughed.

As they left the sunlit room, which sparkled even more as Chris left the window, he knew his day was still full and his heart felt even fuller for the dressing down he taken from Jessica. He smiled as went down to the factory floor to make sure all was in order. He wasn’t quite sure why his single largest order always ended up happening as the year drew to a close. But it had always been thus and he accepted it, gratefully.

Day passed to night. The finishing touches done. The paperwork finalized. The workers had all been given their customary bonuses for the exceptional job of making the impossible, possible.

He never quite embraced religion though his feeling in general was that there were forces at work. He felt that souls and grace were as much a part of life as evil and darkness. The problem these days was that feeling that the darkness had a firmer hold on things and it scared him. Not that he hadn’t seen this before. It was just that he felt it wasn’t going to let go very easily. He wasn’t sure what price mankind would pay for ignorance and greed.

He walked the shop floor and stopped by a palette where he could see the full moon’s glow through the skylight. He brought one foot on top of a box on the corner of the skid, crossed his arms over his knee and bowed his head. He spent a lot of time praying. He was never offended by the lack of responses. He always felt the answers came in due time. They just never arrived directly. He’d see the conclusions in events or decisions or other people.

He took no small comfort from those answers. And his wait on what to think about the world today both puzzled and disturbed him. He tried not to feel a sense of abandonment. He tried to convince himself that this was a test. As he spoke to God today, he raised his head and stared directly at the moon, as if it were His face.

Jessica came up behind him and startled him with a “So did the moon help with your questions”?

“Not a bit”.

“So tell me Chris, does it ever occur to you that you are supposed to change things”?

“I don’t understand”, he replied.

She explained that perhaps what he was doing was supposed to matter. What he was doing was supposed to help others. Maybe HE was the reminder to people of what good was. What generosity was. What giving without expectation was.

He just stared at her.

Just then the warehouse lights came on and the crew filed in, singing. They loaded everything up. It was a magic moment for all that so much could somehow fit in such a small space.

Jessica turned Chris around and helped him on with his coat. As he cinched up the wide black belt, he chuckled. As he turned back around the chuckle turned in to a full throated, belly deep laugh that made everyone else laugh too.

He kissed his lovely wife once again. She patted his bum as walked off to make sure his final order of the year was delivered. As he strode off with a purpose, it was her turn. She bowed her head, asking for his safe passage.

“I’ll be back at first light!”

She replied, “Your bed will be warm and waiting. And so will I”.

That stopped him and made him turn around. He simply beamed and gave her a wink. He jumped aboard and shot off into the night.

I Dream of Crystal – Maps

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1F8izLoE8U

Maps is a relatively new band that is really James Chapman. He has had significant success in a short period of time. His first release We Can Create was nominated for the Mercury Prize. This one has serious talent and Maps is a band to keep your eyes on. This song is a sure indication.

Lyrics here, more below:
So, let me begin
By laying down the state we’re in
With a belt in of gin
I can handle bout anything

But this is out of control
Do what you like to me
But please don’t hurt her man
Cause I will hit you
Hard as I can
But that ain’t really the plan
You see

Please don’t get me wrong
But you can’t knock what you’ve never done
It ain’t always fun
But at least you’ll be living son
So get the fuck off my case
Yeah she is an angel
Man I don’t doubt that
And I will screw it up
I’m used to that
As the radio plays

You can’t change this way of life
You can’t change this state of mind – repeat 2 lines 6 more times

What do I love about this song? Everything!

You have a bizarre title, never mentioned in the song. You have a song with somewhat upbeat, almost happy music. And you the words which seem much darker.

If you know me, this is a killer combination for me! I love songs that work internally against itself. And what’s not to love here?

It sounds like a conversation between a current boyfriend and the former boyfriend. Maybe the girl is trying to get the new guy to do some things she used to do with the old one.

I love the drama and the threat of violence. Showing how much the old boyfriend still cares but knows he messed it all up.

So what’s with the title?

I puzzled this one quite a bit. I can only come up with one decent idea.

I think crystal, I think prism. I think light refracting, scattering.

I think the old boyfriend. I think issues. I wonder if we’re talking some form of mental illness. Or perhaps some scattered emotions that made him unable to commit completely to the relationship.

If anyone else has some good ideas, share them in the comments.

Maybe the crystal represents the girl. Maybe the refracted light represents the two guys and she has feelings for both?

Ahhh, love it!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

No, this isn’t an ode to Ren and Stimpy! Though I must be aging myself by remembering this!

In this season of Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza, there is this great tendency to confuse a great number of concepts that tie in with happiness and joy. But I find that the two are very different animals.

Happy is one of those things. We all want to be happy. But how do we make ourselves happy. And why does that sentence make no sense? ‘Making’ ourselves happy. Like we can force it upon ourselves.

Truth is happy is a selfish concept. ‘We’ want it for ‘us’. ‘I’ want it for ‘me’. We talk about making others happy but more often than not, what we do to make others happy has more to do with making ourselves happy.

As a lot, we humans are very selfish. And society these days is geared ever more to the idea of ‘me’. If you look at how we live, what we do and how we communicate, we’ve continually managed to isolate ourselves. How often are we in a room full of people? And the times we are, how often do we feel even more alone? Everyone texts but nobody talks.

I can’t name a lot of people who are truly happy. We shut ourselves in our homes. We use electronics to reach out to each other (this blog a prime example of just that). But the emotion that carries from a face-to-face conversation or even talking on the phone is completely lost when you see ‘I-heart-u’. Really connecting with people is becoming a sadly lost art. And its something that has to change. The more isolated we become, the less functional we’ll be and the more at risk we’ll all be by those who would manipulate our lives.

I see joy as a completely different thing. Joy is its own function and is a product of what I would call ’something more’. Despite my lack of religious beliefs, I do believe there is a spiritual nature in all of us. Something that we haven’t been able to clearly define from a scientific perspective. Maybe we will one day!

That said, I look at the concept of joy as something that comes only when we are not focused on ourselves. Joy is rare. Joy is not and cannot be constant. Anyone who tells you they are in a constant state of joy is deluded. If Grace is more a manner of being, joy is the result of Grace.

When you take a few minutes to give to others, service others, without previously defined expectations on returns, you have achieved some sort of Grace. Giving and serving others is an expression of love. Not like family or marital love. But a love that is given freely to others, no matter your circumstance or theirs.

Joy is something that is given to you in return but you will only experience it if your intentions are truly unselfish. Joy is seeing that thankfulness in another’s eyes. Joy is in the honest expression of thanks. A tear filled smile. Or perhaps when you see that happiness they have for something for them but realize in that moment that they’ve been given something more. I’ve seen joy and experienced joy in the smallest of moments.

Joy should not be pursued. Joy cannot be expected. Joy is a gift that you cannot ask for. Joy is the reward for true generosity, whether of spirit or act, because spirit is in both.

Whatever the reason this season, go out with intention but not expectation. Give. Share. Serve. And when you least expect it, joy might be given to you. Think of joy as a mixing bowl and is what happens when happiness meets Grace. The results are priceless.

I Belong To You – Muse

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMQuOkQyezU

I hope people like this particular version of the song. The only version I’d heard until recently did not include the interlude. The original title listing for the song was I Belong To You (Mon Coeur S’Ouvre A Ta Voix). The french there translates as ‘my heart opens itself to your voice’.

Lyrics here (including the interlude), more below:
When these pillars get pulled down
It will be you who wears the crown
And I’ll owe everything to you

How much pain has cracked your soul?
How much love would make you whole?
You’re my guiding lightning strike

I can’t find the words to say
They’re overdue
I’ve traveled half the world to say
I belong to you

And she attacks me like a Leo
When my heart is split like Rio
But I assure you my debts are real

I can’t find the words to say
When I’m confused
I’ve traveled half the world to say
You are my muse

Ah!
Réponds, (Answer!)
Réponds à ma tendresse (Answer my affection)
Verse-moi, verse-moi l’ivresse! (Pour me, pour me a drink!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Answer my love!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Answer my love!)

Ah!
Verse-moi l’ivresse! (Ah! Pour me a drink!)
Verse-moi, verse-moi l’ivresse! (Pour me, pour me a drink!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Answer my love!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Answer my love!)

Ah!
Verse-moi l’ivresse! (Ah! Pour me a drink!)

I belong I belong to you alone

I can’t find the words to say
They’re overdue
I’ve traveled half the world to say
I belong to you

Thanks to musewiki.org for the translated lyrics.

This is another song that is included on the New Moon soundtrack. And while the song wasn’t written for the movie, it fits the love story line very well.

What I found of particular interest was the interlude, which is amazing. And it turns out it is an extraction from an opera, which isn’t hard to tell in the way he sings it. The words are from Samson and Delilah…yes, another love story for the ages!

The thing I love about Muse is that, unlike many bands, they don’t write their songs to fit a market, like the US. Sure Americans are highly unlikely to hear the interlude version, but I love the writing for themselves.

I won’t examine the actual lyrics. They speak for themselves. What I do love about the words here is the step away to less obvious vocabulary and pacing. It really works. And throw in some opera and that great horn section after the interlude and you what is truly an amazing song.

Any wonder I love this band? Hope you do, or will, if you don’t already.

Palintology

So I see the inimitable Ms. Palin has decided to wade in on the climate debate with an op-ed in the Washington Post.

Sadly scientists actually ask themselves hard questions. They question their own methods and results. And they may even make mistakes once in a while. I’m not sure how this allows the conservatives to question decades of research. That is the world we live in unfortunately.

Reading Sarah’s account you would think that climate change is the single greatest snow job (yes, pun intended) ever perpetrated on mankind since science ‘proved’ the world is millions of years old. Oh my! Her clever intelli-speak is littered with the usual drivel…climate change schemes, cap-and-tax etc…

And then we get into the real meat of her arguments. That Obama should have stayed home from Copenhagen because in his inaugural address he stated he wanted to “restore science to its rightful place.” Huh?

Or how about “Without trustworthy science and with so much at stake”? I call decades of research trustworthy. Unlike her and the rest of the right who think mistakes are something that never occur under their watch, this is particularly comical.

The cap-and-trade program (something that the right finds impossible to reference – much like Bush’s penchant for referencing the Democrat party instead of the Democratic party) is a potential solution not a scheme. Is it or will it be perfect? No. I consider it a start. And that Sarah refers to it as a scheme instead of a possible step towards a solution is just typical of all her unexplained arguments.

I find myself writing about this idiocy more and more simply because it is so false and so wrong. The media has its own issues in this. Giving voice to the stupidity while letting reality drown in the mire is just another loathsome step in the grand stupidity.

I can honestly say if I was an op-ed writer for the Washington Post, I’d be offended. That they let the falsehoods and twisted logic define the debate instead of actually reporting and rebutting fully and in full voice is sick and wrong.

So if you don’t quite what I get when I say stupidity or ‘dumbing down’, you need to watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. If you can find this on Youtube watch it. Look for ‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (12/08/2009) Clip 2′. It’s a great example.

Canada:

http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?sid=3350

US:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-8-2009/gretchen-carlson-dumbs-down

By The Grace

Was it a coincidence?
A confluence of elements
That brought me here today
Weary with the sentiments

Was it merely a slight of hand?
A tweak of magical mysticism
With which I followed the map
Viewed with an eye to skepticism

Was it a toss of coin
The sheerness of luck, of chance
Either fork an option
Or did my feet know in advance?

The questions come
Those of the ages
Meaning and purpose
Poets and sages
Was it by the grace of God?
Was it by the grace of love?
Was it pure sense of space?
We plead, ponder and turn the pages

Was it all predetermined?
Was there a defining hand
As I turned and twisted
Did I know the tune and the band?

As I walked through fire
The questions burned
The smoke spelled out my name
Coughed, choked, my mind churned

Seems I always ask the questions
Without the straightforward answers
My road is always winding
The results a hawkwind dancer

The questions come
Those of the ages
Meaning and purpose
Poets and sages
Was it by the grace of man?
Was it by the grace of soul?
Was it pure sense of pace?
We beg, bluster and turn the pages

Black Swan – Athlete

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WCFTKI5lu4

Athlete is a band I’ve been following for a while now. They’ve had some amazing songs in th last few years. Among them: Wires (the first song I heard by them on One Tree Hill), Tourist, Twenty-four Hours, Westside, Tokyo and my favourite Hurricaine. This English band has an amazing sound and they consistently deliver. Check out all the songs. You will not be disappointed.

Lyrics here, more below:
I waded through the darkest fields you’d imagine
Your pretty face sketched on the barrel of my gun
And I know you’ll be the first to welcome me
When I climb into eternity
Oh, oh

The forest kept us warm
Bur it doesnt feel like home anymore
And I know there’s bigger mountains where you are
And a better climate for my heart
Oh,oh

I’ve been racing the clock
And I’ve run out of steem
I am ready for my final symphony
Oh my body is weak
But my soul is still strong
I am ready to rest in your arms

Though many battles I have won
I lost too many friends I could count on
And I know they’ll be the first to welcome me
When I parachute into eternity
Oh, oh

I’ve been racing the clock
And I’ve run out of steam
I am ready for my final symphony
Oh my body is weak
But my soul is still strong
I am ready to rest in your arms

And the rain beat down on the rooftops
But there was no sound,
There was no sound
And all my friends and familly carried me
They carried me home
Carried me home

I’ve been racing the clock
And I’ve run out of steam
I am ready for my final symphony
Oh my body is weak
But my soul is still strong
I am ready to rest in your arms
I’ve been racing the clock
And I’ve run out of steam
I am ready for my final symphony
Oh my body is weak
But my soul is still strong
I am ready to rest in your arms
Oh, oh

This is a beautifully dark song. Almost feels like a song about AIDS but could be any disease or even conflict depending on your view. The ‘lost too many friends’ is a touching bit of pain. The gun symbolizes the end of his own suffering. And I love that he knows they’ll all be there to greet him. And it is easy to imagine he wants to rest in God’s arms. Everything about the words and music are brilliant.

Floating Down the Forth – Frightened Rabbit

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGsYK3xSkio

These guys were a recent find for me. Great song from a very interesting band from Scotland. They seem to have a penchant for recording pretty much anywhere! I like the indie feel of their music but a special sound that you can really feel.

Lyrics here, more below:
So you just stepped out
of the front of my house
and I’ll never see you again.
I closed my eyes for a second
and when they opened
you weren’t there.
And the door shut
I was vacuum packed,
shrink-wrapped out of air
And the spine collapsed
and the eyes rolled back
to stare at my starving brain,

And fully clothed, I float away
(I’ll float away)
Down the Forth, into the sea
I think I’ll save suicide for another day.

And I picture this corpse
on the M8 hearse
and I half run away to sleep
On a rolled up coat
against the window
with the strobe of the sun
and the life I’ve led
am I ready to leap
is there peace beneath
the roar of the Forth road bridge?
On the Northern side
there’s a Fife of mine
and a boat in the port for me,

And fully clothed, I float away
(I’ll float away)
Down the Forth, into the sea
I’ll steer myself
through drunken waves
these manic gulls
scream it’s okay
take your life
give it a shake
gather up
all your loose change
I think I’ll save suicide for another year.

Can you feel the man completely destroyed by end of a relationship? There’s so much in the lyrics of this song that I love. Because it so completely describes the area in Scotland. The M8 highway (runs between Edinburgh and Glasgow (where the band lives). The Forth Road Bridge which connects Edinburgh to Fife (I like that he called it ‘a Fife of mine’). I thought he meant he had his own fiefdom at first. I love that I can picture the venue for his potential suicide as I listen.

In the end of course he relents to the gulls cries to get it together and move on. The beauty is that it isn’t obvious that his love likely died. He almost makes you think the hearse is for him. But I think it’s vague enough to give the impression that it’s her hearse, not his. I may be wrong. I just love that you can interpret this in different way.

An absolutely beautiful song. Check it out!

Peace

“I am leaving you at peace. I am giving you my own peace. I am
not giving it to you as the world gives. So don’t let your hearts be troubled, and don’t be afraid.” John 14:27

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have
been left behind in the Sixties, that’s his problem. Love and peace
are eternal.
John Lennon

Jesus this song you wrote. The words are sticking in my throat.
Peace on Earth. Hear it every Christmas time but hope and history
won’t rhyme. So what’s it worth? This peace on Earth.
Peace on Earth – U2

Peace is a concept.
Peace is a wish.
Peace is neither boring nor mundane.
Peace is a gift.

Peace is a spirit.
Peace is elusive.
Peace works with love.
Peace is effusive.
2009 – Me!

So is peace an hour sitting in your easy chair reading the paper?
Perhaps a hot bath with some candlelight and scented oils?

Or is it the moment a boy or girl gets home from school safe and knows they’ve survived another day? Or maybe it’s leaving home behind for school and a parent’s drunken rage?

Maybe it’s being able to get out of your neighbourhood without getting shot? Maybe it’s going to bed with food in your belly?

Perhaps it’s a ceasefire in a country at war? Or maybe a night where the shelling has stopped?

Peace has so many meanings. And peace for each of us is individual in both spirit and execution. In many cases peace implies quiet. But I think a calm is a more apt description. You can have a house full of children laughing and playing and be at peace because of it.

This time of year brings all sorts of messages of peace. Christmas in particular has so much to do with peace around this time here in North America. But let’s face it. We are terrible at doing peace.

With everything so based on financial gain, besting the neighbours and maxing the credit cards, how do we achieve peace? In a secular world, how do you focus on peace?

You may find it odd for me to say this, but maybe Jesus had the right idea. Instead of focusing on you, focus on the poor. Help out at the food bank. Churches are often a good place to look for opportunities to bring peace to others in a time of year rife with insanity.

Focus on someone in need. Do you have an elderly neighbour who is alone? Do your kids know a teen in need? There’s so much you can do. And if you want that real inner peace, doing for others will bring you many rewards.

And you know what? Peace is a gift. And it needs to be shared. If we all do a little, it will make it better for many, many more. So shed your greed and your need and give. We need to rethink life as it stands. You don’t need to be a Christian to know the values are right. Some things are just so. Helping, giving, sharing.

I don’t pretend I have all the answers. Some of you may think me a hippocrite for not believing but attending church. But one of the many things I’ve learned over the years is that you have to find your own path.

My path to peace involves a wonderful church that is a community to me. And they give me opportunities to bring peace to others. I may not share every concept that the people there hold but I know we have more in common than we are different. And you all have your own paths to follow. Maybe that means God. Maybe that means Allah. Or Yahweh. Or Buddha. Or perhaps it means giving back to your community through public opportunities. The how is far less important than the do. So do.

In this season, find your path and find your peace. Take a chance this season and really find one thing you can do for someone else. And don’t be afraid of church even if it isn’t your thing. I guarantee you most will welcome you and be grateful you share the ideals. And take stock of yourself if you do that. I’m betting there will be a little more peace inside you. Give thanks for that too.

I leave you peace. My peace I give to you.

Magic – Ladyhawke

Listen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy3t6dDyXHg

Ladyhawke is based out of New Zealand and really has something going on. I chose Magic as a reference only because this is the song that gets me moving. You should also check out her other singles Paris is Burning, Back of the Van, Dusk Till Dawn and her major hit My Delirium. All worth a listen or 12.

Lyrics here, more below:
You came to my show, and I saw you in the crowd
I didn’t know your name, I didn’t know your name
I asked all my friends who you were and your story
They told me the same, they told me the same

I’ve left my heart to you, but it’s not fair
Coz you’re taking me for granted baby
I made a start with you, but it’s not fair
Coz you’re over the Atlantic baby
One journey for you but it’s worth it
One life here with me and it’s magic
One journey for you, but it’s worth it
One life here with me and it’s magic

You stayed in my head where I saw you all the time
I didn’t think you care, I didn’t think you care
I found you one day with a mouth full of attitude
And you stole me away, you stole me away

I’ve left my heart to you, but it’s not fair
Coz you’re taking me for granted baby
I made a start with you, but it’s not fair
Coz you’re over the Atlantic baby
One journey for you but it’s worth it
One life here with me and it’s magic
One journey for you, but it’s worth it
One life here with me and it’s magic

Coz your over the Atlantic baby
And you’re taking me for granted baby
Coz you’re over the Atlantic baby

One journey for you but it’s worth it
One life here with me and it’s magic x5

You can call this a typical love song lyrically. What I find interesting about this song is, despite the negativity and the hurt she shows, the music says ‘hey! I’m okay. You’re the one missing out!’. I like the fact the woman is strong, stoic and willing to acknowledge the pain but not willing to be devastated by the man. As it should be!

I just love the beat to this song. Great music!