I think I should start a band called The Furtive Anomoly. I really like that name!
So. Yes, Valentine’s Day approaches. It seems natural to talk about it right now, doesn’t it? But maybe you are thinking flowers and dinner and movies and sex. I’m not.
Does that make me strange? I’ll say maybe!
There are a myriad of things that fascinate me in this world. Nature provides an endless supply of oddities and impressions. Whether earth bound or space flown, that which cannot be explained is deep and endless and interesting.
Love is no exception though love is an exception. Not to what fascinates but rather an exception in the emotions department. We all feel anger and disappointment. We all get scared and exhilarated. We feel joy and sadness. But love is a hard thing to pinpoint.
And why is that? Well, I can love my dog. I can love my children. I can love a good book. I can love the taste of an exceptional meal. I can love the Toronto Maple Leafs…God knows why! And I can love my wife. They are all different and we use the same word to describe them. And I could list a ton of other things. I could list music here but that will be a conversation for another day.
So what is love? Is love some generic emotion we can apply across the board? Yes. And no. The love we have for animals (some may argue this one, and rightfully so) and objects and things and stuff isn’t really love is it? Isn’t it just joy that sometimes reaches great heights? I could exclude animals here because I believe there are those who feel that for their pets deeply and to the point where they might lay their own life down for them.
So let’s focus on each other.
Specifically, let’s focus on couples. That love. The love between two relatively sane adults.
You may ask, given the divorce rate, what love really is. And that is a great question. My answer? You were never really in love. Because in my mind, love, real love, is far more rare.
Ever heard the phrase ‘you’ll know when you’re in it’? It’s true. The problem is you don’t know what ‘that’ is. And if the media has any say in the matter, love will be everything from the stuff you have or get, the way your partner looks or how good the sex is.
Sorry folks, that ain’t love.
As anti-religion as I might be, I do believe there is something more. I do believe that love is a special energy where two people connect on a level that outside the realm of the physical. Soul connection is the closest word I can use to describe it.
Why do I believe it?
Because I have felt it, lived it, experienced it. And yes, you won’t know it until you are in it. And I’m sorry that so many of you have no idea what that means.
When two people truly connect to the depths of who they are, you know. When you would sacrifice all you are for each other, not just one for the other, that’s love. When 25 years later, you still look at that person with same heart-skips-a-beat feeling, that’s love.
You know that love when it happens. You know that love when you struggle and you buckle down together to fight your way through it. What? What’s that? You struggle and come together instead of separating and divorcing? Huh? What’s that?
I know this. I’ve lived this. I live this.
Love is what happens when everything is wrong. That’s when you really know its real. When walking away is not only not an option, it’s not even a thought. How many couples do you know like this? Not many I’d bet.
We live in a selfish culture that rewards speed over understanding. A culture that mocks real love in place of sex and money. Mocks the word love because it is thrown around like the word pizza or duh. Are you really surprised when The Bachelor never finds the one? It looks great on tv but in the quiet of daily life, nothing that artificial can last.
So what is love? Why does it happen?
Is it a chemical thing? If so, why does one person set off such a reaction where others don’t? And I’m not talking attraction here. I mean the real thing. Don’t confuse the two. The adreniline of the new, the blood rush to the crotch of lust do not apply here.
So is it chemical? Is it pheromones somehow mingling and creating? Is it some combination of all of it? Or is there a deeper meaning here. And truly, I understand why God enters the picture for people here. That ultimate love that goes beyond the physical into another plain of emotion is hard to describe.
Soul crunching and soul elevating. I have long believed in the soul. I can’t help but think that SOMETHING other than just chemicals can create this kind of depth. And I fully admit that I could be wrong. Maybe a truly complex interaction that we don’t quite understand. I have long held that those ‘faith’ concepts that include God, might well be nothing more than placeholders until humanity can truly understand, figure out, how it works. Or maybe I’m wrong! The great thing is working through these things so we can find our way forward.
One of the major problems I see these days is a complete and utter lack of time and thought. We are in such a rush over everything. And love is included. Too much we use the ‘if it feels good it must be’ rule. You have no idea what you are missing if you’d just have a little patience, pay attention, and wait until it is true and right. You owe it to yourself to have the best life with the right person.
So don’t spend this Valentine’s Day with the wrong one. Don’t think you need to settle. Be true to yourself and confident that the universe will align things for you. I know that sounds like so much crap but truly, if you think rushing forward is going to work, you are wrong.
Love comes when love is required. Love grows and respects. Love is not about the physical. Love is not about status. Love is all you need. One love, one heart. Want it but don’t expect it. Wait for it, you can’t make it happen. When it’s right, you’ll know. And it will be worth the wait.