The Closest I’ve Been

I sit here some days
With my mind in a full throttle roar
I rail at the world
Shake my fist at the sky
And scream til my lungs can take no more

The topics you know
From jobs being sent far away
To politics and religion
All meshed and mingled
And reality that has lost its way

The closest I’ve been
To giving up
To giving in
To walking away and not giving a shit
The closest I’ve known
To real despair
To real faithlessness
To knowing no hope in the face of it
The closest I’ve fallen
To depression
To obsession
To letting go and just trying to fit
The closest I’ve let myself get
To alcohol
To consumption
To be a mindless, wallowing twit

I sit here for years
Typing a thought, or a feeling or more
I can’t help but wonder
How we let it all go
And how always the price is the poor

The tonic to this malaise
In the bomb shelter life that we lead
Has got to come from
And has got to be within
And a willingness, always, to bleed

The closest I’ve been
To anarchy
To revelry
To blowing up all of this shit
The closest I’ve known
To revolt
To rebel
To revolution in the face of it
The closest I’ve fallen
To anger
To violence
To bellowing and to stop trying to fit
The closest I’ve let myself get
To belief
To faith in man
To know the answer is not a bullet

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2 Responses to The Closest I’ve Been

  1. amazing work. feelings and thoughts are vividly expressed. this poem represents and opens up bottled up feelings. it reflects clearly your sentiments and view points with the example of ur experiences. the use of anaphora has had a quite moving impact. well done hope to read a lot more keep writing.

  2. evocative embrace says:

    i get it. well done.

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