Vortex of Time

I had a sense of self
Once
I must have left that in the dust
I sent my common sense back home
Failed
And blazed a trail to the gold rush

I walked a mile for dollar
Ran
As the want was the need, was addiction
This empty martini of mine
Dry
Was the grave and the gravel’s prediction

I sent for the car and the mistress
Betrayed
Still looking for something to love more
As the rats just kept nibbling at the edges
Lost
Like some two-bit carnival whore

For everything I accumulated
All the things that I acquired
I tried to buy peace
I tried to buy love
I tried to buy God Himself
And The Devil just sat and admired

And when the hole that was my soul
Made itself plain
And the anger and loathing began
The screaming and the lashing out
Directed, I found
The reflection was the target and the blame

So now I find myself
Lost in the vortex of time
The bangles and baubles all rust
The homes and cars sit in dust
My soul bent and broke
My life with no hope
My heart torn to shreds by my lust

If there’s forgiveness out there in the void
There’s no will to even explore
Do I deserve a second thought in this?
Or will a bullet suffice?
I am not the only thing that I destroyed
Nor am I the sole who does deplore

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